Seriously. No, seriously. I get so cranky the moment I walk through that door. Before we get to the why, there are some minor details you should be aware of. I work Monday through Friday as does my wife.
(the wife was perturbed she was not mentioned in the first post so, yes, I have a wife. I love her. She's the best thing that has ever happened to me and that's just awesome for me.)
Anyway, back to hating humanity. Our weeks are pretty busy having to little ones. We can only make time to shop on the weekend, and apparently so does everyone else in the world. During the weekend, we also earn some extra scratch by cleaning her place of employment. It's a day care center and it's four rooms big. It takes about an hour to do it and it's right by our grocer of choice. I hate doing it, but I do it to help my wife. That's love folks, doing stuff we hate for the people we love.
As you might have figured out, we clean her work then go to the grocery store. So, I'm already mildly cranker from vacuuming for an hour straight. Now I have to go strolling around a crowded supermarket with two kids and a pokey wife. Good times.
I'm not a fan of crowds because I think crowds bring out the stupidity in people. Otherwise how you would explain the fact that sharp and intelligent people can't figure out a metal basket with 4 wheels. I would say 70-80% of the grocery shopping public cannot drive a shopping cart properly. Here are a couple of basic courteous pointers most people ignore.
Do not, under any circumstance, stop right in the middle of the aisle. This sucks for anyone coming in both directions. Most aisles can only accommodate 2 carts side by side. There's like 2 and a half “cart lanes” in each aisle. Just pull to one side when you need to stop.
Do not park your cart blocking the entrance/exit of an aisle. I cannot believe this even needs to be said but I've seen it all too often.
When it's crowded, never under any circumstance should you hold a family reunion in a grocery aisle. The aisle is not a place to catch up with relatives, old friends, teachers, etc. I don't care if you are meeting a friend you haven't seen in 50 years and he once saved your life and he went on to win a noble peace prize, move that shit to a less crowded section of the store like by the cards or something. I need a jar of pickles and your in the fucking way!
Keep your kids under control. Kids at a crowded grocery store are just a nightmare. Trust me, I know, I have two and they can be complete dopes while at the grocery store. I can't really blame them too much. I remember being a kid. I hated going to the grocery store. Kids have short attention spans and they do some goofy stuff, like walk backwards in crowds. WTF is up with that? I am constantly yanking my kids out of the way of other peoples carts. I think I do a good enough job at keeping my kids in order, that if I come across a kid that's being a complete dope and the parents aren't paying attention, I should be able to hit the brat with my cart. I think I've earned it.
I wish people would just pay attention and not be a complete dick when they're at the grocery store. I may come across as impatient, and that's partially true, but I go at a steady, determined pace. I'm not an aggressive jerk unless I have to be. Sometimes I think you have to be, or else you might end up getting stuck behind two old birds talking about Matlock or whatever old folks are talking about these days.
Anyway, that's my little rant for today. More rants to come, until then enjoy this song about supermarkets. Seriously, how great were The Clash?
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